I’m at a crossroad really. my life’s at the moment is full of confusion. no, I don’t know what I want. In fact, I don’t even know how I feel anymore. so many people have come and go from my life as if it’s some kind of place to feast your eyes with then leave whenever you want. hell what am I saying? people ALWAYS leave. the moment you get attached to them, the next thing you know they’re gone out of your sight. yeah, I admit I have trusting issues. I barely trust anyone because well, you don’t rely on other people to make you happy do you? I mean… what is happiness anyway? and like, they wouldn’t understand anything that I’ve been through anyway. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS NOBODY. I’m tired of having to go through the same shit everyday single day. it’s pointless really. I just can’t be asked to deal with BULLSHITS right now. there’s more important stuff. I don’t see the need of people coming into your life just to wreck it even when everything’s already broken to pieces. I’m tired having to force laughter or even fake a smile even I’ve lost count on how many fake smiles I’ve been putting on my face. It’s funny how people noticed. really, I’m not creating no scene, there’s a reason for me not to be happy. run out of reasons aswell I guess.

COUNTDOWN TO MALAYSIA 2011: about 4weeks-ish if I'm not mistaken. not that excited though this year but whatever it is, I hope ‘something’ or perhaps ‘someone’ could remind me what joy feels like, again. I guess it’s better to live a life of oh wells than what ifs ay?